


Bonding

by Coffeedormous



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angry protective Harry, F/F, Gen, Harry Hart Lives, M is a bit of an arse, M/M, the Bond team is from Daniel Craig movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4062868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeedormous/pseuds/Coffeedormous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the smoke of V-day has cleared a bit, it's time to introduce the new Arthur and the young agents to the head of some other rather important british agency.</p><p>Merlin is having fun.<br/>Harry is a bit of a mother hen. Jealous mother hen, that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonding

“Eggsy, stop fiddling with your tie.” Harry said, annoyed. “Roxy, the hair looks just fine. For heaven's sake, you're grown-ass agents, stop behaving like a pair of schoolchildren.”

They were sitting in the best living room in Kingsman manor, all of them neatly dressed and wearing serious expressions. Despite the lecture, Harry glanced in a wall-long mirror and adjusted his own bow tie. Nothing to worry about.

The door opened and all three of them stiffened a little, but it was only Merlin, who was, much to Eggsy's surprise, in his usual, comfortable woolen attire, save the apparently new tie and slightly brighter polished shoes. After him came in sir Tomas, the tiny and ancient-looking Kingsman historian, with his puffy hair looking like a blown sunflower.

“Merlin, I see you've been telling scary stories to our young agents here,” said Harry. “ Is it necessary to always make such a big deal of it? It's just an ordinary courtesy visit.”

Merlin made a theatrically scandalized face, trying to hide a smile: “A curtesy visit? Oh, Arthur, you of all people should understand the importance of cross-agency cooperation! Not to mention that, unlike us, MI6 is the official agency representing the interests of our beloved home country and Lady Igraine herself, god bless her soul.”

Harry frowns. “Don't mind him, agents. And you, Merlin, better stop using code names for everything from Her Majesty to teacup, you know M hates it.”

“But surely, such a high-ranking woman as M understands the necessity for absolute discretion.” Merlin gaped at Harry.”

“Well, let's hope that after all these years she finally came to her senses. “ Harry smiles back and heads to the tea table. “A cuppa while we wait? Charming hairstyle today, my dear Tomas.”

Nobody had had time to answer because right this moment the door opened. Merlin advanced to welcome the guests. First to come in was the lady of approximately late Arthur's age, although very well-kept, with short grey hair and sharp look in her eyes. She briefly smiled at Merlin and started eyeing the room while still shaking his hand.

“Good to see you too, agent, yes, it's been years. That's your new recruits, then?” She jumped rigth into it and proceeded in the room at a surprisingly quick pace.

Eggsy and Roxy, who have jumped off the couch when the door opened, now were standing close to each other in poorly concealed terror and fighting the urge to hold hands.

“Well-well, what have we here?..”

“M, please, do not intimidate our young agents any further,” Harry cut in, casually shielding Eggsy and Roxy from M and trying to divert her trajectory to a nearest couch. “I assure you, Merlin here has already done the job for you.”

“May I present to you our new Arthur, M.” Merlin said from the door, gesturing to Harry.

“You and your fairytales, dear,” said M with a frown. “Positively ridiculous, Harry! Why do you need to keep this awful tradition? Numbers and letters and much more efficient and sound less like a school play. Also it prevents the unpleasantness with gender: I take it that you, young lady, are supposed to be called Lancelot? Such nonsense. Wouldn't you say, 007?”

Only now Eggsy noticed that after the woman came in a man. He, too, was dressed in a bespoke suite, but wore it rather with some neglect. His perfectly build figure shoved a bit more more muscle mass then that of Harry, his face, although well-groomed, was a but more roughly featured. The smile, however, was utterly charming:

“When in Rome, M.” he said, smirking at the younger agents. “Now, we are among friends here, aren't we? How do you do, gentlemen, miss.”

Eggsy caught a quiet “hmpf” form Harry's side, as well as the man's judging glance at 007's lack of tie and several undone buttons of his shirt, showing a muscular chest.

“Bond.”

“Arthur. Impeccable as always. Care to introduce me properly?” He approached younger agents, already shaking Eggsy's hand firmly, and then attempting to kiss Roxy's, quickly caching her angry stare and turning it into a gentle shake. “Charmed.”

"Galahad, Lancelot, this is agent Bond. No, James, I'm not going to say..” Harry started and was interrupted with 007's pompous:

"James Bond.” 007 grinned with delight.

“Oh, bother.” Harry rolled his eyes. “And you have a stomach to accuse us of theatrics, M?”

“Harry, it's only James, you know that. Try to be patient. Think about how I have to put up with him on a daily basis.”

“As do I” said a somewhat nasal voice from the door.”

Eggsy looked up and saw a very thin man of hardly identifiable age, dressed surprisingly like Merlin. He strode to them and bowed his head a small nod:

“Q, the quartermaster. A pleasure.”

“So is  jumper like a uniform for you tech guys?” Eggsy bursted out before considering if this was a good idea, falling in his most natural south London accent.

Q turned to him, raised a brow with a polite surprise and was about to say something, when M said rather loudly, evidently catching Eggsy's words:

“So, Merlin, I take from the sound of it that our Harry has been..charity working again?”

For a moment silence fell in the room, then Harry put his cup of tea abruptly down on the tea table with a loud “cling” and took a step to Eggsy, placing his hand on younger man's shoulder. In the awkward silence he rapped out:

“M, you know I regard you opinion on numerous matters very highly, but your snobbish ignorance is disgusting. If it wasn't for this, as you say, “charity work”, most of the world's population now would be rotting dead, having killed each other in a mindless rage. So kindly refrain from any comments about Galahad's origins, such as they are, else I shall regard it as a personal insult.”

Now everyone on the room, including the all but forgotten sir Tomas, stared at Harry. Under their gazes his enraged expression was starting to turn into the awkward one.

Finally M said with a just a tiny smile in her voice.

“Good lord, Harry, no need to bite my head off, I just..well, forgive my inconsiderate words, I'm sure nobody here questions Mr. Galahad's extraordinary capabilities.”

“Yes, Harry, nobody's threatening your boy, calm down” Bond added with a grin.

Harry snapped “He's not my..”

“Oh, but he _is_ your protegé, is he not?” Bond interrupted, innocently blinking at him.

Harry pressed his lips even tighter: “Yes. I do apologise, M. It's just that you're not the first one to comment on that matter.” He seemed to remember now that his hand was still on Eggsy's shoulder, quickly removed it and retreated to the table for his cup.

Eggsy just stood there, not really having processed all what has happened and blinking aimlessly at Harry's back.

Bond produced a sound that was very similar to snorting, badly concealed by fake cough. “Now, teasing him further could result in severe property damage, I'm afraid, so how about you, Lancelot, tell me something about your precious self?”he murmured, drawing still baffled Roxy to the far couch.

In the mean time M seemed to finish her tea and addressed Harry from across the room:

“My dear, do stop sulking and let us get on with all this.. 'Athur' business.” She grabbed his not very eagerly extended shoulder and led the way to Arthur's office. At the doors she turned around: “Oh, and Merlin, we won't be needing Q, you boys can go play with your high-tech toys. Q brought with him a whole blasted ion generator or something. It kept whooshing in the car.”

Merlin lit up like a christmas tree and dragged apparently equally enthusiastic Q with him to the basements.

Eggsy sighed and collapsed on the couch next to sir Tomas, who apparently didn't really mind being left to his own thoughts.

“Man, what a piece of work these are” Eggsy said, mostly to himself. “ What a fucking piece of work.”

 

***

Eggsy, finally tired of silent presence of sir Tomas, went to take J.B. for a stroll around the manor, seeing as everybody else were still paired up in more or less businessy conversations. Upon returning he found Roxy chatting vividly with a tall pretty woman who was introduced to him as Moneypenny. Leaving the women to their apparently very enjoyable conversation, he strode around the living-room.

Bond was sitting next to sir Tomas now, who seemed to be scribbling something in a mad pace, and grabbling Bond's sleeve with his other hand at the same time. 007 looked bored to death and tried to make an excuse to leave, but the little historian was pretty determined to get from him all the stories he needed for his writings.

“And when was that, agent Bond?” Eggsy heard his creaky voice saying.

“About a..a year ago, but it was really nothing remarkable..”

“Defusing a bomb under water, with oxygen running out? You are too shy, James, of cause it was, it's marvellous, I want to hear all about it...”

Eggsy grinned. No escape for that one any time soon.

 

In about an hour M and Arthur finally emerged from his office, looking rather exhausted, and headed straight to the decanter table. Shortly after that Merlin and Q, still eagerly discussing something in a language Eggsy wouldn't dare to call English, came up from Merlin's lair in a basement. After a pretty friendly drink and another half an hour of chatter, M looked at her watch.

“Dear me, I fear we have long overstayed our welcome. Time to go, agents. Harry, I hope there are no hard feelings. You know we appeciate what you all do, very much so. If I'm ever grumpy, it's because I genuinely envy that you don't have to answer to every other fool they elect as prime-minister. Keep up the good work, darling. This goes to all of you. Mr. Galahad, I think I will be hearing about you a great deal in the future. Best of luck.”

She briefly patted Harry on the cheek and exited the room in her usual royal but swift demeanour.

Q followed her, shooting Merlin a last, sorrowful look. Moneypenny detached herself from the slightly blushing Roxy, grabbed Bond's shoulder and dragged him along, beaming silently at all the agents. Being dragged to the door, bond hardly managed to land his tumbler on a table and saluted the rest of them with his usual grin. “Cheers!”

The door closed behind them, and all the Kingsman seemed to breathe out a little sigh of relief.

As they stood in silence, they heard the muffled voices receding. The woman said something inaudible to Bond, to which he answered in his quite loud voice, perfectly perceptible in the living room:

“Yes, all charming people of cause, but my god Moneypenny, I feel like I am the only straight person in all the british secret service!..”

The woman's laughter that sounded like a quiet clinking of wine glasses through the door, was quickly joined by Kingsman agents on the other side of it.

**Author's Note:**

> This pun of a title was shamelessly stolen from some chapter of some fic I read a while ago.  
> I wish I could imitate posh british manner of speech. Please point out if something looks particulary ridiculous.


End file.
